A Plate is the equivalent of a Female Beta Orbiter – How to not be a plate
I’m going to say something to the ladies reading this blog that will make the guys at The Red Pill hate me. You do not want to be a plate.
What is a plate? A plate is a woman who a guy may have sex with, a casual no strings attached kind of side relationship with. This kind of arrangement has the benefit of sex, but lacks the element of commitment. There are many guys out there who have their own harem of plates, women who orbit around their lives and offer sex, but do not get to be their long-term girlfriends or wives.
A plate is the equivalent of a female beta orbiter.
So what is a “Beta orbiter” you may ask?
It is a man who is a platonic friend of a woman. He orbits around her life, offering favors and friendship. He sticks around hoping that eventually if he’s a real good boy, if he endures enough shit, then he will be her go to guy when her current relationship falls apart, or her back up fuck when she’s feeling lonely. Sometimes the ladies will throw their orbiters a bone, but the orbiter will never be the main man in her life, he’ll never be her burning sun or guiding star.
So why do women allow themselves to become plates? Some truly are just in the relationship for the casual sex. Maybe they are too busy for a real relationship, maybe they are bored with their husbands and cheating behind their backs, but maybe…just maybe…there is a deeper goal at play.
A man who gets plates surely has some alpha qualities. He’s confident, charismatic, sexy, a natural leader with a fun personality. Wouldn’t most women want such a guy to be their main squeeze? Many of the women who say they are happy with just being a plate are fooling themselves. The reality is that most would prefer an exclusive relationship with the guy in question if they had a chance (many would even cut off their left boob to snag an alpha all for themselves), but since they don’t have the qualities that make them long-term relationship material, they lie to themselves and convince themselves that they too are happy with being but a side dish in his elaborate sex buffet.
Just like their Beta Orbiter counter parts, plates are naive enough to think that if they stick around the longest, if they are the most persistent, then the guy will eventually upgrade them to their queen bee. I know a woman who moved across the country just to continue being her man’s plate.
But here’s the thing, if a guy made you his plate in the first place, chances are he did that BECAUSE he doesn’t see a long-term relationship working out with you – and BECAUSE he doesn’t intend for the current relationship to really go anywhere aside from the casual fuck and pizza when his wife is out of town or while he’s waiting for the cable guy.
And the longer a woman allows herself to be a plate, the less likely she is to eventually be in a long-term relationship with a guy she is attracted to.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A PLATE?
You know that he is having sex or romantic relations with other women.
He doesn’t spend the main holidays, such as Christmas or Thanksgiving with you.
He doesn’t invite you over to meet his parents, because he knows that your relationship will be temporary at best.
You don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with his close friends (for the same reasons).
He visits you at odd hours, and mainly for sex.
He only calls you by pet names, such as “bunny,” “baby,” etc. because he doesn’t want to call you by some other woman’s name by accident.
You find yourself putting more energy into the relationship than he does.
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE A PLATE:
So, seeing all these things above, you have to ask yourself, is it really worth it, being some guys prostitute who works free of charge? Sure, you get to have sex with a guy you are wildly attracted to – and maybe there is some element of friendship involved. But how long will that last, before he trades you in for a younger, sexier model?
And then what? You go from being a side dish – to dirty dishes. You may find yourself incapable of enjoying relationships with less studly guys, or enjoying said sex with these other men.
There is no such thing as getting “wild sex out of your system.” Some women have a bunch of crazy sex, and then think once they got that out of their system, they can settle down and live a normal, boring, suburban life with their Beta Bux provider. But they’ll still long for the wild, crazy brutal slam you down on the bed kind of sex from before. They’ll still send the guy the occasional text, hoping that maybe he’ll throw them a bone. Even my grandmother at 80 something years old, still told me about the guy she dated in her 20’s that “she was supposed to be with,” even though he was a sailor with a different girl at every port.
Sex with someone you are attracted to is like a drug, and the more hits you take, the more you want. And once that drug disappears from your life, you find yourself feeling bitter, empty, you raise up your emotional walls, and you have a harder time emotionally connecting for fear that your next boo will leave you stranded like Mr. Alpha Fux did.
If you get pregnant, your Plate Master is not going to be there for you (aside for maybe 18 years of forced child support money if he can afford it). My theory is that many of women these days who just ACCIDENTLY get pregnant – or OOps forgot to take the pill – they were plates trying to be upgraded into a main meal into their Pimp Daddy’s life.
But unfortunately you’re not a big mac, you’re just a small fry, waiting around to get chewed up and spit out.
Is that really a life? Temporarily it may be fun. But it the long-term, there is no end game.
HOW TO NOT BE A PLATE:
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF – WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
Is it possible to be in a happy, long-term relationship with a guy that you are emotionally and sexually attracted to? Of course it is. But you need to be honest with yourself. What are you really attracted to in a man? If you find yourself in relationships with Players and Bad Boys, why is that?
You have a whole society telling you to settle down with someone who is “nice,” someone who will “treat you like a queen” and someone who will be your best friend. Then you hear these stories about these women who settled down and married that nice guy who is great with the kids, who cooks a good brunch, who cleans, who is so much fun, and so supportive – and boy the woman is fucking bored!
Let’s face it. We’re women. We don’t want to fuck other women with dicks. We don’t want a guy who comes to our sleep overs, paints our nails, buys our tampons and gossips with us about our galpals. Men like that don’t make us wet, they make us about as dry and sandy as the Sahara Desert.
Most of us want men: competitive, assertive, dominating, fuck you hard in bed, take me now kinds of men. You know that’s what you want, but your ashamed to admit it. This feminist, PC culture has made you feel ashamed of your human feelings, and your animal longings. But nature has its own laws, and such laws cannot be altered, rewritten, lobbied in congress or changed. Just as the happily married woman will risk it all for one night of pleasure with a more beastly specimen, so too will even the highest politicians in the land risk their power with one evening of bliss with a young and attractive woman. We are animals. We have instincts. We have needs. Just as birds know when to migrate south before the coming winter, men and women – deep down inside – know what traits will ensure the genetic longevity of their bloodline and kin. Men want nurturing, feminine and fertile young mothers. Women want protective, strong and dominating fathers. There isn’t anything wrong with that – only a culture that tells us to ignore our true selves.
Today it is hard to find such quality men, because Feminism has told boys that manly behavior is threatening to the womyns and also because there is a dearth of strong male role models on TV. When women say, “there’s no good men left,” what they really mean is that there are no “real men around who are willing to fuck me.”
Perhaps the real reason why our grandparents stayed married longer than our parents, is because in the older generation girls were raised to be ladies and boys were cultivated by trials of ice and fire into men.
But I’m telling you that even in today’s PC world, you can still end up in a relationship with a man that you are genuinely attracted to without being a plate.
IF YOU WANT A REAL MAN, YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE A REAL LADY:
The laws of attraction work like magnets. Just as a polar north seeks its polar south, a real man will only be legitimately attracted to a real lady. It doesn’t matter if your butt looks sexy in those yoga pants of if you just dropped a couple G’s on a boob job, if you are a masculine, aggressive, pushy person – you are going to push the quality men straight out of your life. I know a very attractive girl who is only capable of either being some Player’s plate, or a Beta’s date. You want to know why? She has a bitchy personality.
So what do YOU bring to the table? Will you bring value to your relationship once your looks fade? Once you’re no longer sexy? Many women today only work on their sex appeal, thinking that as long as they look good, they can get any man they want. Certainly that is a predominant message in the media.
So what can you do to improve your long-term relationship potential? What can you do to be a “lady.”
- Start your search for a quality life partner young. Men are the most attracted to women when they are youthful. Many people are aware of the recent OkCupid experiment where men of all ages and all backgrounds said they preferred to date women who were 20 years old. And that’s only because ’20’ was the youngest age offered. At 20 you have a whole shopping mall of men to choose from, whereas at 30 you’re down to the Dollar Tree. As a woman in your young 20’s, you have a lot more options now than when you’re older. Many of the quality guys get snatched up quickly. This doesn’t mean that you have to marry your first boyfriend – heavens no! What this means is that you need to start the SEARCH when you’re young. Dating people who don’t have long-term potential is a waste of your time and youth. Maybe your first or second boyfriend may not end up being the one. But if you’re at least in the search phase, you’re going in the right direction. Fucking around with every Tom, Dick, Harry…and well…any dick…. is only a waste time. Worst of all, you may end up stuck in a commitment with someone you don’t even like (I learned this the hard way, ended up dating a guy for 4 years who was supposed to be just a summer fling). Ask yourself the hard questions. Do you love this guy? Do you see yourself married to this man? Do you like his genetics – do you think he’d produce desirable children? Do you respect this guy? If the answer is no, it’s time to move on.
- The other factor is that the dating process that leads up to marriage or some other kind of LTR takes time. You may marry someone at 30, who you started dating at 24. This is very normal. If you start dating someone at 30, chances are you may not be married until 35 – if you even get married at all.
- Be conservative with sex. Most people these days don’t wait until marriage. But that doesn’t mean you have to give it away for free like cheese samples at the Food Court. The more rare a commodity, the more valuable it is. Why do diamonds and gold have worth where rocks and dirt do not? Because diamonds and gold are rare. When someone receives a precious diamond, they take care of it, they keep it clean, they put it in a special and secure place where it won’t get lost and they hold on to it forever. But regular stones and dirt don’t have much value, because they are everywhere. People will throw a stone into a river or leave it in the yard. Such an abundant and ubiquitous commodity has little worth, and deserves little care. So with metaphors aside, my advice is that you should know a guy for a few months before you have sex with him. (EDIT: I originally said 6 months, but many people said that a real alpha wouldn’t wait this long. So perhaps instead of having an exact timeline, you should probably make sure you know the guy through and through as a person before you fuck. This could take a few weeks or a few months. Just don’t fuck on the first, second or third date at the very least.) You can make out – you can do other things. But if you give it away too early, you’ll become a plate. If he leaves you for not having sex with him immediately – truth is he probably wasn’t planning to stick around anyways.
- Once you start having sex, be generous in bed. Many women think that men will be happy enough to simply have a real life sex doll, a woman who just lies there like a log and doesn’t do anything. But guys get bored with such behavior. Men want a woman who will give them blow jobs, be creative in the sack, do a seductive strip tease, and pay attention to what turns them on. One woman who is good in bed is more valuable than a harem of human logs.
- Maintain your appearance. Even though I said that looks aren’t everything – looks certainly are something. This advice goes without saying. Don’t get fat. Don’t become that person who only wears sweat pants and t-shirts when he’s around.
- Have a down to earth personality. One of the things I’ve heard men complain about most is uptight women – women who freak out at every inconvenience or harp on them for every flaw. Guys want a woman they can come home to, a woman they can relax around. They don’t want to spend the rest of their lives walking on egg shells. A woman who is a 6 in looks, but is willing to watch the game with her husband and even get him a beer, is much more likely to become a guy’s wife than the woman who is a 9 in looks, but a pain in the ass.
- Have a feminine demeanor. While being easy-going is a positive, at the same time you shouldn’t be like one of his guy friends who gets into burping contests with him, compares farts, cusses at the television, drinks harder, lifts more, and fights harder. Acting this way will get you into the fast track of being one of his bros, rather than his quality hoe. Women in the West are taught not to be Feminine, because apparently femininity is weakness. But that is crap. Femininity is a profound strength, an evolutionary ace that women have up their sleeves that men are denied. Femininity is more than pink dresses and bows. It’s about allowing yourself to be vulnerable, it’s about knowing when to use soft power rather than hard power, it’s about being in a state of constant admiration of a person we deem our physical superior. It’s about showing deference rather than attitude, and humility instead of pride.
- Be the woman he would want to be the mother of his children. The people we choose to be our long-term partners, are the ones that we (at a deep subconscious level) could see being the parents of our future offspring. Men want a woman who is nurturing, patient and kind to be the future mother of their children. Even if you’re dating a man who wants to remain childless, he would still prefer a nurturing, kind and patient woman out of animal instinct.
- Have domestic skills. Have something to offer aside from just a sexy bod. Can you cook? Can you clean? These things are a huge plus, even to the most egalitarian and Feminist men. My boyfriend says that he thinks men and women should be equal, but he certainly doesn’t mind that I offer to cook a majority of the time. If your man knows that he can come home to a warm meal, he’ll be much more likely to turn down a night at the sports bar after work.
- Win over his friends and family. Do your best to get on the good side of your man’s friends and family. Listen to them. Don’t make waves. Don’t get easily offended if someone says something that rubs you the wrong way. Some of it is just a shit test to see if you are a bitch or not. When my boyfriend’s friends first met me, they didn’t like me, because they were afraid he’d spend more time with me than them. Some were even snarky and rude to me. But I didn’t retaliate, I was always nice to them, fed them when they came over, laughed at their jokes and asked them about themselves. Now I think my boyfriends friends like me more than him. One of them bought a game for me on Steam instead of for my boyfriend, lol.
- Understand your man’s need for “guy time.” One of the biggest hypocrisies in today’s world is that women can have a “ladies night out” with their friends, but “a boy’s night out” is supposedly sexist. Just as women need their own feminine space, men too need space to be men. They need their own space where they can be crude and manly without judgment. My boyfriend and I had this issue recently. I share all the same hobbies that he and his friends have. So because of this, I’m always there when they are playing a video game or cards. I fit in pretty well. While he’s grateful for this, he expressed that he still wants some separate time with his guy friends. So, I didn’t get jealous. Now when he’s playing an online game with one of his guy friends, I’ll leave the room and do my own thing. Half the time I hang out with his guy friends, and half the time I don’t. We found a pretty good balance.
- Be physically AND mentally faithful. While I’m not a religious person, I do agree with the part in the bible where Jesus says something along the lines of, if you’ve committed adultery with a woman in your mind, you have already sinned. Basically, entertaining lustful thoughts or intentions of another person is a form of cheating – or the precursor to bad behavior. I’m not saying that you can’t have lustful thoughts. Everyone does. But I’m saying if there are things in your life that put you in a situation where you might cheat on your SO, you should cut those things out of your life like a cancer. I have to laugh at the stories where a woman finds herself at the club, and decides to drink an inhuman amount of alcohol around a bunch of attractive men and then is SO surprised that she cheated or made out with some other dude and she totally didn’t mean it! You know what? Don’t put yourself in that situation. Maybe I’m too conservative, but I think most clubs are a toilet of humanity anyhow. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Don’t binge drink. Don’t go clubbing on the weekends without your boyfriend/husband. Don’t stay friends with your highschool crush on Facebook. Such behavior puts you on a shaky road, and you know it – and your boyfriend knows it. So stop doing it!
- Realize that a man with both Alpha and Beta traits may be better than a straight up Alpha. A man who is Alpha through and through will probably never stop chasing tail, not even for you. Even if you become the queen bee in his life, you’ll still have to contend with his minions on the side. If you’re like me and don’t have the patience for such a life, you may have to contend with dating a guy who has a mixture of Alpha and Beta traits. Maybe it’s a guy who knows how to be a leader and step forward with the occasion calls, but still will cry during a sad movie or make you pick where you’re both going for dinner most of the time. The truth is ladies that you can’t have it all, and you never will. The most important thing is finding someone who will be loyal to you, who will be there for you when the occasion calls, and ultimately – such loyalty is the most manly behavior there is.
In conclusion. I hope this advice helps you. You don’t need to be a side dish in someone’s life in order to date a guy you find attractive. Be a feminine and worthy lady, and worthy and masculine man will find you. Even if you’re not a skinny, pretty 20 year old girl – maybe you’re 35 and single – but having a feminine personality and nurturing demeanor will still work wonders. The wisdom of our grandmothers still applies. People haven’t changed, only the values we think we have.